March 2012
1 post
4 tags
Confessional Poem
I dressed like you today. In The Northern Kingdom, we eat babies, in blue terry cloth bathrobes. I am but a flawed melange of corn, soy and tenderized meat by-products. You can’t just stick the genie back in the bottle.
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REMIX by: EyeDoc11 ORIGINAL TEXT by: EyeDoc11 and handlingdoom
January 2012
5 posts
2 tags
Wise on whisky, glum on gin
Hobbies:
Getting wrecked
and reading Whitman.
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ORIGINAL PIECE by: FMJBotham
4 tags
I Prefer The Company Of Dogs To The Company Of Men
I make poems. They don’t come out very well.
I am filled with savage music.
Rich people are always smiling and taking off my pants.
I’m getting too old for this.
I am filled with savage music.
I want to make tiny clones of you and swallow them like pills.
I’m getting too old for this.
Purify my soul with a Brita filter.
I want to make tiny clones of you, swallow them like...
4 tags
the only cars I can recall regularly driving down regular roads are the worst cars driven by the worst drivers. there is really nothing regular about it. their windows are open. their faces make me grateful for the number of times i have fallen in love. i am having a great night. ohio is having a great night. i am \ being mellowed ohio is \ being mellowed ...
4 tags
Dicing with death has never been so dull
Every bit of money had been spent “It’s so bad,” someone on the television said. Like anyone knows, everyone screamed (rain on your wedding day) I will never know. /////////////// REMIX by: J.D.A. Winslow ORIGINAL TEXT by: Ponsford McQuain Shannon Adele Winky Luftlecker Nathan Masserang J.R. Narcissus
3 tags
That winter I ate more Salmon than a bear in...
This winter is your breakfast
These tears are you mouthwash
These memories are your ipecac
Chelsea dislocated her shoulder after prom
Eating Hunan at the Oriental Super Buffet
(to avoid having to kiss you)
At a trucker’s lounge in Ohio,
Asked a bunch of students if they are Jordan Castro
(because, will someone do a poem, please?!)
Just a couple of creeps drinkin hot tub water at the...
December 2011
9 posts
4 tags
Unearthly Grace and I
Is this a bad idea? (The windows are open) I need wine, or snow I tried to warn you, (a bad idea) I haven’t been dying unearthly Grace, I haven’t been dying. she was telling me different ways to kill people (lament, lament, lament). It was very weird, very hot too.
REMIX by: JDA Winslow
ORIGINAL TEXT by: JDA Winslow,Will Burnett!
handling doom Ponsford McQuain Scott...
4 tags
For handlingdoom
headbang neck pains i hate myself and want to die but i’m too scared so i’ll just cry just a couple of creeps drinkin hot tub water at the Hampton Inn the sound of loneliness makes me happier
i always share the empty death i tried to warn you
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Original text by: handlingdoom, ponsfordmcquain, JRNarcissus, postitbreakup, zackschuster
4 tags
TYLER, THE CREATOR - I Am So Fucking Stoked Right...
Hey Yall Whatcha Doin?
MY FACE IS ON THE COVER OF THE NEW YORKER. ALL I KNOW IS THAT OLDER WHITE PEOPLE READ THAT SHIT. SOOO TIGHT
I Felt Famous As Shit Got Damn
I Seen Lindsey Lohan. And Met Beyonce, Didnt Know She Was A Fan. Shit Is Crazy As Fuck. Dude, Im So Stoked Right Now
It Was A Moment Where I Was Like, O Fuck, Am i Really Here?
Threw Song Waka On And Started Bugging Out In The Room....
4 tags
recent victims of a combination of certain things
i am become refrigerator. i am become sports fan. get up, you problem; you bad person. come here. climb in. get cool.
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REMIX by mbt
ORIGINAL TEXT by Beach_Sloth, zackschuster, haha_what, handlingdoom, EyeDoc11
3 tags
great lives or that's what happens clouds
not my baby hahahah sparrows love songs something shallow
i’m so sick of reading all your poems world
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REMIX by handlingdoom
ORIGINAL TEXT by siblingss, e_arnie, eyedoc11, mbt, ponsfordmcquain, vomitweek, deckfight
4 tags
Oh
So long to find you
love songs,
out of the sky,
(apologetic) great lives, baby. ///////////////
REMIX by: JDA Winslow
ORIGINAL TEXT by BeachSloth, Scott H. Stoller, james alden, M. Thomas Stevenson, mbt.
Temporary Signs: EXISTENTIAL CRISIS IN AISLE SEVEN →
Good commentary on “EXISTENTIAL CRISIS IN AISLE SEVEN”
4 tags
EXISTENTIAL CRISIS IN AISLE SEVEN
Bro ghost crying naked hysterical In a grocery store fantasy on fire, face discovered girlfriend you cannot empty a basketball court of dogs or a face full of soy sausages or a generation of madness
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REMIX by: helpimburnt
ORIGINAL TEXT by: eyedoc11, vomitweet and ponsfordmcquain.
4 tags
EXTREME SENSATION OF WORTHLESSNESS
a bag of cocaine
and a baby
fall out the window
this is so much fun
i love
physical comedy
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REMIX by: James Alden
ORIGINAL TEXT by: bearwave, feeeeeeel, rednewsom, crispinbest.
November 2011
5 posts
WatchMatt Margo of Cormac McCarthy’s Dead Typewriter reading 12 poems from Poetry by Emily Dickinson.
untitled
An Atheist in the Army unexploded mine on the beach from the air I saw babbies okay let’s get weird ///////////////
REMIX by: anonymous
ORIGINAL TEXT by: zackschuster, edwin_r_d, ponsfordmcquain, WhoaABackyard.
3 tags
Is this meme on a civilian labor force in my mouth? put your baby on me as a way to say hello? pyramid like Bangkok after I already feel like robbing banks? a city where wild boars get called wild all the time? This is what happens when you swallow my tongue in a hot tubb.
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REMIX by: vogdoid
ORIGINAL TEXT by: deckfight, ahabartleby, youngmatthew, edwin_r_d, posnoventista,...
2 tags
poetry by emily dickinson
throughout history, there have been
human beings, beans of my heart,
a Golden Domestic House machine.
maybe if bob marley taught me
everything, like your breath,
my twitter, bracelets, and butt
life would be better
i would say that
as a person, maybe
///////////////// REMIX by: Michael Goldberg.
ORIGINAL TEXT by: ponsfordmcquain, seanoftheshire, beach_sloth, ahabartleby, poetrybyemilyd,...
4 tags
starting now
i am heavy machinery. i am several attractive women. i am a beauty massage. i am changing the world with my own brand of lollipop. i am the love of my life. starting now.
ORIGINAL TEXT by deadcheap
October 2011
6 posts
4 tags
Xenophobia
The sky is falling on my house for a severed head in Japan. I’m never going back. /////////////////
REMIX by: deadcheap ORIGINAL TEXT from: lindzegee, ponsfordmcquain, seanoftheshire.
4 tags
bottom, baby
baby baby i hurt inside i miss you i thought we had something special but now the sky is falling & i dreamt of rain Tom Cruise Tom Hanks i dreamt of somewhere baby bottom
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REMIX by: handlingdoom.
ORIGINAL TEXT by: JDA Winslow, ponsfordmcquain, jovialjellyfish, lindzegee.
2 tags
The anniversary of my dad and the window.
Miserable in Japan all day.
Different from that morning in Paris.
I swallow the pills in the box my dad left open
before the window.
Tiny clones of my dad lift me up.
Tiny clones of my dad read my book.
My dads’ reading shape my book like a blade.
My book is a blade. My blade may open you alive.
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REMIX by: Jovial...
2 tags
Star-crossed
A snake’s breast is filled with Pluto’s milk. I am filled with stars in love. Star lovers drinking snake milk, so many cosmic kisses, so many cold-blooded celestial embraces. My dad is miserable, and I am filled with savage flute music. Wild lovers leaving their parents, so many drunken gropings, so many acidic vomit kisses. I want to make tiny clones of you and swallow them like pills each...
4 tags
Immanuel Kant On Fire
The start of autumn a desert moon peeks into the alley, window left open all day. Imagine you’re in a beautiful apartment, window left open all day you’re in a beautiful apartment. The party starts her blond human servant Human contact makes her cringe in disgust. You’re in a beautiful apartment. The apartment is on fire and someones going to die. (on Halloween, in modern...
2 tags
Junk
Butts that look awesome
Make her happier than ever
Join us as we bring languages to life
Achieve maximum sexual nirvana.
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POEM by FMJ Botham
September 2011
35 posts
4 tags
Someone Else Pays
Crocs wearing oxen.
Horses licking branches.
Starbucks.
Someone is going to die
in this beautiful apartment. /////////////////
ORIGINAL TEXT by: Peter Richter.
4 tags
STARBUCKS SPELLS OUR NAMES
THEM DEAD FUCKERS is soo stressful alot Now imagine rideing poetry instead a goddamn arms race birds, clouds permanent syrup on a mobile smart phone so christian… It feels like thejigisup we brand each other Rising Yung stars no shame in Every NYC bus but alas slightly beefy American scars a huge bitch a virgin leaped out of my throat youdothemath just p o w e r f l u s h it Tao Lin now writes the...
4 tags
jacking it to a stranger’s last.fm
physically, you’re leaving hickies. you’re leaving thousands of them. you’re in a toy store. why are you in a toy store? your hand is haunted. your hand is probably haunted. you are p o w e r f l u s h i n g your life down a drain the size of the car you wish you didn’t have. physically, you are talking about the taste of crickets. why are you shifting your weight so much? you are...
4 tags
It Just Gets Ridiculous
Your libido, yes, your horny bone
has mentally paid the bill which is to say
provided the straw in my coffee.
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ORIGINAL TEXT by: Peter Richter
4 tags
This has no title. I am sick. I broke me snake. I’m suffering from fatigue. I have not been reading poems quite as often. I want to write about crime, contemplating such a thing as a girl riding the bus. Some of the retarded are just born broke. Probably wouldn’t be, if there were as a basic income. Every mentality is about decisions and the fact that you are the top influencer of these...
4 tags
Broke Girls
A leaf insect rideing my hand down a dark street has me in a “Broke Girl” mentality. I thought ‘at least my hand isn’t haunted.’ and then, reassuring myself, ‘my hand could be Broke Girls.’ I want to know everything about Broke Girls. I want to sit at home and write “Broke Girls.” Broke Girls also feel like stealing other people’s lines. I probably wouldn’t be contemplating “Broke Girls”...
4 tags
Broke
Broke Every NYC bus is advertising she was telling immanuel kant jokes feel like stealing other people’s lines hit and run snooze Riding the bus has me in a “Broke Girl” mentality West coast holla 2 Broke Girls this ain’t a scene it’s a goddamn arms race probably wouldn’t be contemplating crime if there were such a thing as a basic income cant quite tell what...
4 tags
Red Line
I don’t like my elbows,
have four friends on Twitter,
wish I was a man,
so I could do man things.
There’s a gale force wind inside my cupboard.
What makes a sentence fade?
Money doesn’t keep me warm,
but it does buy electric blankets—-
and I would give it all away
to hold Gheorge Muresan in my arms,
just once.
Teach me to be pretty.
Tangle the spokes with...
4 tags
i dont think im doing this right
I feel like a virgin.
Whatever.
Wait, what?
I feel like
6 oclock crickets regressed
completely to me
again.
Wait what?
It hasn’t helped that
I’m listening to Ashlee Simpson
right
now.
What
ever.
I’m gonna dress you up
as hydrangeas, make you
call me daddy jesus—
what—
wait
Don’t we say that?
Don’t we say that
human hair...
4 tags
i want to kiss u in a bathtub filled with smart...
i want to live a long endearing life with u hydrangea without a name
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REMIX by Steve Roggenbuck. ORIGINAL TEXT taken from C.W. Kelly’s remix, “Bad Things Will Go Up in Smoke”
Blue
I am sick of reading poems about the ocean. I am sick of reading poems about birds or clouds. I initiated the attack and my mind was blown. I came into the world fucking. I will go up in smoke, and I’m alive! When I am falling asleep, I can transform any room. So lonely, I have urges. So lonely, I have needs. Fuck science. Fuck research. Fuck disease. I’m channeling my feelings into art...
4 tags
(Slam danceing to Bach)
you know who’s a good band? megadeth. Send me to hell i wanna sin
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REMIX by Steve Roggenbuck. ORIGINAL TEXT by @Mickeyswartz, @johnmortara, and @R3pr0bus.
4 tags
bad things will go up in smoke
I’m not cut out for reading my spam
I’m cut out for sleeping with your own blood
I’m not cut out for the fear again
I’m cut out for salmon, always stuck
I’m not cut out for human hair
I’m cut out for a symphony of train wrecks
I’m not cut out for Bebe Zeva
I’m cut out for hard boiled eggs everyday
I’m not cut out for a komodo dragon
I’m cut out for chocolate all over his face
I’m not cut out...
2 tags
zoe salmon always stuck me as being slightly fishy
My mind is a symphony of train wrecks. My face is haunted. My cat hates me.
Feel kind of upset. It’s not okay.
At McDonalds (in the back) thinking about the processes of life - A clean, beautiful man & woman seated in a cedar bathtub filled with Irish whiskey, blowing bubbles - Can men really feel the pain of sexual rejection the way women do? - Might have the zombies drink peach...
4 tags
Zombie
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REMIX by: murooned
ORIGINAL TEXT by: deckfight and zs_zs
4 tags
the moon is very big my mind a symphony zoe salmon train wrecks checking out the crystal grill feel kind original luminating lacking memory McDonalds water what to read popcorn pizza i dressed like you today
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REMIX by: handling doom
Original Text by: zs_zs Critique_Manque deckfight ponsfordmcquain N0T0RI0US_BIG jdawinslow marykvalle
2 tags
I'M ALL SCRATCHED AND BITTEN
I have a lot of normal looking guys. Going out with that bar bro, Mild trepidation. Had sex with that bar bro: I look like a mess, I know. Con that my flatmates kept coming in… Bleak. But it was quite good so Meh. ///////////////////
Submitted by Sean Wyer
4 tags
Dear Bebe Zeva
Dear Bebe Zeva I’ve got another confession to make I voted for Bush Dear Bebe Zeva I’ve got another confession to make I play pool I play Palin I play Perry Dear Bebe Zeva I’ve got another confession to make I’m a drug mule Bebe Zeva I’ve got another confession to make I don’t know how to say things anymore. Bebe Zeva rich people are always smiling and taking off my pants I...
2 tags
order, naked gods, yardwork
if you executed me thigh deep in tofu legs making a 30° angle if you executed me naked in the forest except for my toolbelt Chihuahua Minivans keeps looking at me and this watermelon together legs making a 30° angle a dead finch in a Fiery Fusion not the same Ion Storm that made this opossum out of the dryer vent punks and poor people drop Burnin’ some trash behind the shop Falling...
dragon daisies
i am naked and feeling like the spectre of death and these walls died in 1994. my first encounter with an earthquake shakes Virginia and New York melting in the snow. how soon they forget. but seriously woof woof woof woof woof. i struggle to shave with all my chest hair exposed. my jawline is bleeding. the left side of my neck hurts. my face is so angular. i’m socially awkward. i am...
4 tags
rock it get it
I’m fly like high, get plane like paper How many more probes do you think Satan’s armies will allow to land on Mars The poking and the prodding None. None more probes Stop the hating or take it to the moon before you crash My biggest fear is being swallowed by an octopus
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REMIX by: Juan Moscoso
ORIGINAL TEXT by: Morgan Myers, Ponsford McQuain, nydwracu, Sarah...
#beyonce
today i ate my gurrrll #beyonce her cat gets wet this awwgasm will keep her asleep for ~5 hours my gurrl #beyonce mind reader in my arms, just once i wanted to go out dressed like her listening to maserati and smokin a bowl her cute giggle brings Sunday loving on an infinite scroll I WAS JUST THINKING„WHAT IF DMX REALLL _DID_ FUCK my gurl #beyonce? / / / feels weird / / /...
Beach Sloth by Beach Sloth featuring Beach Sloth
(originally posted at New Wave Vomit)
Now that the Rapture didn’t happen I can go back to nailing Jell-O to trees.
Now that the Rapture didn’t happen we are Devo.
Now that the Rapture didn’t happen a sexy Finding Nemo dress exists.
Now that the Rapture didn’t happen I did a video post with Cher on an aircraft carrier.
Now that the Rapture didn’t happen I went on a hugging bender.
Now that...
4 tags
Science
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REMIX by: murooned.
ORIGINAL TEXT by: puketown and CwickRedden.
